Let's Talk about Sects

Article

by Omar Mouallem

Imagine getting married and knowing that your vows will eventually expire. After a year, a month, three weeks, maybe just an hour, you will part ways with your spouse, no strings attached. It has nothing to do with irreconcilable differences and everything to do with nikah mut'ah, or "pleasure marriages," a rare but still prevalent 1400-year-old Shi'a tradition of marrying temporarily, sometimes just for sex.



Mut'ah goes back to the Hijra, Islamic prophet Mohammed's original migration from Mecca to Yathrib (Medina). "It was a temporary situation for people who were away from home," says Syed Muhammed Rizvi from Toronto's Jafari Islamic Centre. "Even for pilgrimage, people used to go for three, four months… [So] if a person is in a situation where he has two choices—one is adultery or fornication, and [the other is] mut'ah—then of course mut'ah would be the legal way.

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Historically and contemporarily, mut'ah doesn't just benefit traveling men; it also helps women, many of whom are widows and single mothers. Because the man is obligated to commit a dowry, the funds help secure the woman's survival. Depending on what her situation is, such as how many children she may have, a generous dowry is given.



Although contracts are the norm, one is not required. Only a verbal agreement is necessary. If things don't work out between the husband and wife, the man simply states, "I give you the remainder of the time." The woman is required to remain chaste for two months before marrying someone else to ensure she is not pregnant from the previous relationship.

Little has changed in this process from the seventh century until now. These days, however, the ancient tradition is being given a modern makeover.



A website called Mutah.com stopped operating in 2001. While it still survives as a step-by-step guide for mut'ah contracts, it used to be an online matchmaker for many, many Muslim men (and, well, three registered women).



An Orange County divorcee profiled as Snow White writes, "I am looking for a mut'ah marriage that is short term. I am not serious about … permanent marriage. However, if that is what happens I will be happy either way … I mostly want to stay away from sin.

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For Christian-to-Muslim convert Nargis, of Colorado, mut'ah was superior to regular dating because it involved a commitment before God. "I am not interested in mut'ah to 'play around.

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Nargis has had mut'ahs with five different men, and multiple mut'ahs with two of the five. The longest was around a year and the shortest a few months. As for her dowries, "I've seen anything from a piece of jewelry to a car to a Koran." Although she's never felt exploited by mut'ah, she warns that it can leave women vulnerable.



"Women are more likely to be unhappy with the situation and have a desire for it to lead to something permanent," she says. "I think bad situations are more likely to occur when the relationship is kept secret."



In Iran, where mut'ah is most common, the issue has become a sensitive one. "There is definitely a need for regulation on the issue," says Syed Rizvi. "I think the law even requires that mut'ah be registered now.

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Reza Aslan, a Middle Eastern analyst for CBS News and author of “No God but God: The Origins, Evolution, and Future of Islam,” says, "It's quite a common practice for prostitution. Instead of sleeping with a prostitute, you sign a mut'ah contract for one hour or two hours… the dowry becomes the payment.

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In Iraq, mut'ah was outlawed under Saddam Hussein, but after his removal, it experienced a strong re-emergence. Shiite lawmaker and women's rights activist Salama Al-Khafaji supports mut'ah, but told USA Today it was "an unhealthy phenomenon." She's afraid too many men are using it to exploit women for sex. She wants to see workshop campaigns for young couples stress the importance of permanent marriage.

Many Sunni Muslims and clerics repudiate mut'ah. The disagreement between the two sects goes back to the original schism when the second caliph, Umar bin Khattab, abrogated mut'ah practices. The group of Muslims who did not support his caliphate eventually became the Shiites.



In his book “Marriage and Morals in Islam,” Syed Rizvi writes "Umar declared mutah as haram [illegal]. It goes without saying that a decision by Umar has no value in front of the Qur'an and the sunnah!"

Nargis has noted that many Sunnis are interested in mut'ah and have inquired with her about it. "Some Sunnis, particularly in the gulf, I think, engage in a practice called misyar, which is marriage with intent to divorce. Thus, in effect it becomes a temporary marriage." She adds, "I think mut'ah is better because [it is] clear up front, and no divorce [process] is involved.

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Reza Aslan sees it in more pragmatic terms: "When you're a persecuted minority in an empire that basically sees you as an enemy, you come up with ways of making things work. Another well-known Shi'a practice is taqiyyah, or, pretending you are not a Shi'a in order to thrive. And mut'ah is kind of the same thing. [It allowed Shiites] to maintain their community and flourish in an environment that can be hostile.

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Aslan says it's most beneficial for widows because legally and socially they're not as protected as a married woman. "Sometimes temporary marriages give them an opportunity later in life to get the same kind of benefits that a married person would have. It's a practical thing.

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But Aslan does warn that it clearly favours men. Because a woman is usually expected to maintain her chastity, any previous marriage "lowers her stock." This is why most mut'ah marriages are kept a secret from friends, family, and in the case of polygamous men, other wives.



For Nargis, sharing her mut'ahs with the people she knows is not a concern, and it's usually the man who keeps it secret. But she concedes, "I don't bring it up a lot just because it can be a pain to explain to someone who doesn't know anything about it."